Monday, June 30, 2008

Dear Big-Breasted 40-Something :

I know you thought you looked cute, with your sheer pastel green top, standing in line at Quizno's.
God bless you, my dear, but your large pendulous breasts were screaming for some sort of support. Everyone in the room heard them. As were your huge dark nipples for an extra layer of fabric and a shred of decency. Did you even bother to think that folks might be out to lunch with their children??? This is not the sort of "wardrobe malfunction" that happens by accident. You were clearly going for a "look".

While I'm being candid let me say that spaghetti straps are not your friend. Maybe once, like in high school or college. But there's a reason we eventually loose touch with many of those people. And desperately trying to hold on to friendships that weren't meant to last past our youth often brings about sad results.

Sincerely,
The Guy Who Nearly Choked on his Turkey Cheddar Sub

2 comments:

JafaBrit's Art said...

Dear offended by big bosomy women of a certain age,
We don't give a rat's arse, we are HAPPY in our bosomy ways, and enjoy air flowing around our cleavage, and our armpits.
signed the not quite big bosomed,
Mrs.titwall

seriously though, love your blog header, it's hilarious.

John G. said...

LMAO Jafa!!! You know, I published this comment before reading it completely, so I did so thinking it said "Dear. Offended by..." as if you were offended by my post. I figued, shit, I can show two-sides on my blog. I was getting ready for a little back and forth. LOL!

Cleavage is next to godliness.
You should've seen this woman though. Her top was completely see-through. And far be it for ME to be a prude!

Thanks about the header! I'm really enjoying your blog.