Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

El Velorio de Doña Mary

A "velorio" is a wake. In Puerto Rico (as in many Latin cultures) the body of the deceased is often laid out for viewing at home. Neighbors, friends and family gather to pay their respects or say last goodbyes. There is always food and often music. Crying, singing and laughter are all sounds heard at a velorio.
I remember going to my first one at around 5 years of age. Doña Mary (Mrs./Ms. Mary) lived two houses away from us. She was heavy-set and dark skinned with wiry wild hair. She was loud. Her voice, no matter how sweet her words, always sounded chastising. As a child, I was afraid of her. But my mother was not. My mother befriended Doña Mary and while neighbors steered clear of her she was often at our house. I can close my eyes and imagine myself looking out our front door and seeing the backs of Mom and Mary swinging on porch rocking chairs and chatting away over a strong cup of cafe negro.
Doña Mary's son lived with her. He was greasy and lazy...and abusive. I don't know whether she had other children or where they might have been but one day my mother received a phone call from, of all places, the morgue. Her number had been found as emergency contact in Doña Mary's wallet. She had been struck and dragged by a bus less than a mile from our homes and my mother was called down to identify her body. Not long after, we had to go pick up her belongings (or perhaps someone took up a collection, it was so long ago and I so young) from her place of work. She was a cafeteria lady at an elementary school. Much to my mother's surprise all of Mary's co-workers knew who she and I were when we arrived. She spoke to them about us as if we were her daughter and grandchild.

The imagery in this painting romanticizes her wake just a bit. Her house was drab and there were perhaps less flowers or ceremony. Unshakable, for some reason is the memory of mosquito netting draping over her casket to keep bugs at bay during what was probably a nearly-summer month. Unforgettable also is the fact that at the time Mom was unemployed and we did not have much money so we could not afford flowers from the florist. A Peace Lily plant (given to her by Doña Mary) had just come into bloom. Those were the flowers we took to the wake.

El Velorio de Dona Mary, acrylic and ink on canvas, 30" x 40". available

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Farrah's Glamour Center

What 70's/80's girl (and many a boy) didn't want to play with one of these?

Farrah's Glamour Center, acrylic and ink on canvas, 11" x 14"
Order yours HERE!



Friday, June 8, 2012

Complicated Crush

Lynda Carter was my first TV crush.
I didn't know whether I wanted to marry or be her.


Complicated Crush
mixed media on canvas
24" x 30" x 1 1/2"
Available from my studio or Etsy Store.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Fierce Fridays: Get The Party Started!



Today, I'm off to the Jersey shore for my 20-year high school reunion. During our stay I will not only reunite with my former classmates but with dear friends I made just after school whom I have not seen in over a decade.

Jersey, I'm "coming up",get the party started!



Have a fierce weekend, everyone. I know I will.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

Mom,
You were fantastic and fierce; unique and unforgettable.
In your love and embrace I felt like nothing could harm me.
You are so much a part of who I am today.
You are present in everything I do.



A happy MOTHER'S DAY to all of the fabulous mommies out there!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Saturday, April 30, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge: #6 A Song That Reminds You Of Somewhere

"Vogue" will always remind me of dances held in our high school's cafeteria. Of arriving a bit late, hearing the song come on from the parking lot and rushing to the dance floor. Thank you, Madonna, for making a still-semi-closeted teen living in BonJovi-town (Sayreville, NJ) feel like he was kind-a slick.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

30 Day Song Challenge: #5 A Song That Reminds You Of Someone

"Batdance"might not be the finest example of Prince's musical brilliance, but this guilty pleasure will always take me back to high school and sitting in my car with my bff Melissa (the only other Prince freak in our school) waiting for its radio premiere.

We might have been a few minutes late for class that day.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Feet

While organizing the studio and getting rid of some excess papers I came across these old sketch book drawings of feet. I remember the day I drew these very clearly. We lived in Franklin Park NJ. The year was '97 or '98. We were sitting out in front of our condo. It was sunny and there was a slight breeze. I bet it was Spring.
I sketched while Mom read.


Me


Mom

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Looking for Myself in Another Man's Face

I can count on one hand the times I remember being in the same room as my father. Unfortunately, the most intimate part of those meetings consisted of a few awkward minutes on a bench, in a hallway outside of a courtroom. Child support (or rather the failure to pay it) is a great way of bringing a family together, if only for an hour or two and in the presence of a judge and a couple of lawyers.

I was born out of wedlock. Well, that's only part of it. The part you're supposed to tell people to avoid uncomfortable questions or bringing the conversation to a halt. Most importantly, to avoid them passing judgment on the person who gave all she had to protect and nurture you and whose amazing spirit made you the person you are today (warts and all). I was the product of an extra-marital affair.

I imagine it is because of this that my mother didn't have any photos of my father. As time passed, and I no longer saw my father in court, his face became more and more blurred in my memory. So much so, that even though my mother always said I resembled him, I feared I would simply not recognize him if we were to find ourselves in the same room one day. She never spoke poorly of him. In fact, she always told me that if I wanted to spend time with him or have him in my life, in any way, I could. She even encouraged it. But when your encounters with your father have been as limited and of a less than positive nature, or your thoughts of him consist of mostly wondering why he doesn't have any interest in you... you're just don't feel comfortable enough to attempt a connection.

The internet is an amazing thing. Though I never met any of my relatives on my father's side it has made it possible for me to connect with many other Gascots. Some have found me through my website, but most have reached out through Facebook. Most have been distant cousins. The closest (to my knowledge) until recently was the wife of one of my brothers. Some have seemed happy to communicate with me at first, but when I share my place in the family tree, or my true feelings about my father (which are in actuality not negative, I simply refuse to romanticize him), they seem to stop writing.

Over the past two weeks I have been emailing back and forth with a first cousin (daughter of one of my father's sisters). She seems like a truly wonderful person. She said, like my mother so many times before, that I resemble my father. I explained that I have no detailed recollection of his face and that though I seek no reunions, I would love the chance to see his face. I suppose this was my way of asking if she had any photos she could share with me without asking bluntly for one. I can't say I understand this sudden desire to see his face. Maybe I realize that though he had nothing to do with shaping the person I am today, he had at least half to do with the fact that I sit here typing this at all.

A few hours ago I received a photo of him (and his brothers and sisters) from my cousin. I never anticipated what it might feel like, looking for myself in another man's face. Or having my fear of not recognizing my own father confirmed. It is all very strange, but I am extremely grateful. Though virtually a stranger, my cousin has given me a gift no one else has ever been able to (or offered to). I still don't know what to make of it all, but I hope I will get more photos of him. For now, I think I will keep staring at that face, searching for that resemblance everyone always told me about.

Friday, December 18, 2009

A Snapshot of Christmas Past


My thighs are saying: All the single ladies! All the single ladies!
Santa is saying: Ho Ho Ho! Get this big MF off my lap!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Feliz Dia de los Reyes!

As a child, in Puerto Rico, I had the best of both worlds when it came to holiday traditions (and gift-getting!). Being the son of an "Americana" I got to celebrate Christmas and get goodies from Santa. Then, on January 6, I'd get more gifts for Dia de los Reyes Magos (Three Kings' Day). Usually 3 more gifts, to be exact (one for each King).


Illustration by Aruye

I remember going out and clipping grass from the yard to put into an empty shoe box, which I would carefully then slide under my bed. The grass was for the Kings' camels. During the night the Kings would come, the camels would "eat" the grass and leave toys in the box under your bed. An oddball combination of Cookies for Santa and the Tooth Fairy if you will. LOL!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Memories


My Mommy and me.
Christmas morning, 1972.

May you and yours make wonderful new memories this Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Memoirs of a Gay-sha

Ok so there's nothing Asian about this post. But it is a stroll down memory lane and I wanted to steer clear of any "Dude Looks Like a Lady" references.
I wasn't in the studio yesterday so I have no new work to post today.
Since I've got RuPaul's upcoming Drag Race tv show on the brain, I've decided to hit y'all with a lil' drag flashback! My stage name was Miss Demeanor.
Enjoy!

Performing Melba Moore's rendition of "Aquarius".
I stayed up all night gluing those damn daisies (and sequins to the daisies).

For about 10 years of my life I was a part-time Female Impersonator. I competed in various pageants (and won some!), acted in a film ("Trust Dance"/unreleased) and had great fun doing gigs at various night clubs throughout the TriState area.

Winning Miss Gay Bucks Co. USofA


Promo head (and leg) shot.


Performing a half Spanish/half English version of Peggy Lee's "Fever".


Winning Miss Colosseum. (I was their first!)


Struttin' around the stage. I loved that gown!


Modeling a Dior at Miss Gay PA USofA. Got the gown on a DEEP discount on account that an opera singer had ordered it and never picked it up. A halter strap had to be added, as I was (am) not "naturally" able to keep it from sliding down my chest.


Miss D. was last spotted at a Halloween party circa '03-'04.

(hope you got a good giggle, Judy! ;-))

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Weekend Flashbacks!

I'll start with one every artist (or artist-at-heart) should remember:

Monday, September 8, 2008

Embarrassing Childhood Photos:

The Green Speedo

You can't handle my band-aid/floaty/fatty-in-a-speedo combo!



Embarrassing as this shot is, it actually captures one of my favorite childhood memories of my titi ("auntie", in Spanish). This day might as well have happened last week, that's how well and in detail I remember it.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Pointer Sister Moment

I am so excited (and I just can't hide it!).

Tonight I am reuniting with my very bestest friend (more like a sister) from high school!!!

She lives mostly in London these days and is in DC for the weekend.

It's been 15 years.

I'm about to loose control and I think I like it...oh yeah!

Here's 9 minutes and 44 seconds of Pointer Sister gay day-glo ruffles

...just for shits and giggles.